2020/10/03

Death Cult Vows

Junipero Serra

Like all religions, the Death Cult that currently dictates Western morality has a creed that its adherents are required to profess in order to be members in good standing. The Z Man complied a pretty accurate encapsulation of the Cult's dogmas, which I present here with some light editing.

BIPOC: Do you renounce Racism, and all his works and empty promises?

Candidates: I do.

BIPOC: Do you believe in Gaia, the Mother almighty, Creator of heaven and earth?

Candidates: I do.

BIPOC: Do you believe in George Floyd, who suffered death and was buried, rose again from the dead, and is seated at the right hand of the New York Times editors?

Candidates: I do.

BIPOC: Do you believe in Diversity, the Lord, the giver of life, who today through the Sacrament of Checking Your Privilege is given to you in a special way just as it was given to the management team of every global corporation?

Candidates: I do.

BIPOC: Do you believe in the holy Democrat Party, the LGBT community, the unforgiveness of whiteness, the toppling of statues, and gender equity?

Candidates: I do.

BIPOC: This is our faith. This is the faith of the Cult. We are proud to profess it in Floyd our Lord.

All: Amen.

 

Don't Give Money to People Who Hate You - Brian Niemeier

12 comments:

  1. I think the sanctity of all consensual and sterile sexual activity, and the sacred rights of the female over her offspring (I was going to use Materfamilias, but the word's components would be anathema), need to fit in there as well.

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    1. I don't think they'd want to be locked into "consensual".

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    2. They'd agree with locking in consensual, but their definition would differ from yours (esp in terms of age where one can consent). They wouldn't agree with sterile, however. Keep in mind these are the people decriminalizing intentionally infecting sexual partners with e.g. HIV through unsafe sex without telling them you have it.

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    3. I meant 'sterile' in the sense of 'non-reproductive.'

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  2. The which faith, unless a gender fluid persyn keep unskeptically on all social media, xe shall be cancelled everlastingly

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  3. Yech. Hits too close to the bone for me to be able to laugh about it.

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  4. And when they sing their credo, they use the melody from the song “Imagine”.

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    1. If we could through this with any semblance of a civilization left, we should outlaw that song, and anything else even remotely associated with it.

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    2. Just play it in a minor key. That turns it into a warning.

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