Witches' Most Brain Dead Argument

Indignant Christ

A witch showed up in the comments over at author Alex Hellene's blog to throw his unearned moral weight around. The host and other commenters responded accordingly.

James 1

Freqnent Kairos commenter Xavier took the first swing at the witch piƱata.

James lies about Planned Parenthood's well-documented baby part trafficking and doubles down on the charge of hypocrisy. He's clearly an SJW, but it's the sarcastic jab about Jesus being proud and the later mention of, "your Christian faith" that gives off the whiff of brimstone.

Alex correctly intuits James' infernal influence, replies with a meme that shows he's got James' number, and bans him. But like the cat who probably serves as his familiar, the witch comes back.

James 3

Author JD Cowan with the bonus mockery.

My Catholic systematics grind slower than Orthodox intuition, but I finally arrive to administer the Witch Test.

James 4

It's been almost twenty-four hours with nary a peep from the suspected witch, though the host and another commenter easily pass with flying colors.

The verdict: James tests positive for witchery. Recommended actions: ban and spam.

It's a great comfort and a sign of God's blessing that the Witch Test continues to gain traction among the Christian faithful online. Its power springs from denying our enemy the unwarranted moral authority his arguments rely on. Wield it with justice and charity!

And please, support my work so I can continue arming the Church militant in the holy war for Western culture!

UPDATE: Despite multiple bans and having his witchery unmasked, the witch just can't help himself.

James 5

This is the internet equivalent of his spinning head vomiting pea soup. Note the cognitive dissonance tells:

  • Jokeless laugh
  • Personal attacks
  • Typos indicating furious typing
  • Continued evasions
This is how you know that witches hate, hate HATE having their pretensions to moral authority stripped away, and why the Witch Test is an indispensable weapon.


  1. I wasn't very friendly in my response. I have no sympathy to give for anyone after over five years of this garbage who still parrot obviously false slogans from the woke crowd.

    1) You're just like the SJWs! REMeMbeR tHe 80s!?

    The people who spearheaded the moral panic of the 1980s are all on the side of SJWs today. The Satanic Panic was a lot shadier than the media today would have you believe, and all the debunkers have CIA connections and disturbing personal lives few discuss.

    "Muh D&D" aside, it's not even close to the same situation.

    2) You Christians always act like victims!

    Ignore the fact that Christianity is the most persecuted religion worldwide and bake that cake, bigot. Believe it or not, some people don't want others to feel sorry for us and give us free stuff for being oppressed. The reality is that no one is throwing you off a rooftop here, and that's why you're free to attack safe targets like Christians.

    You're self-righteous cowards, and that's why no one likes SJWs.

    3) You're a hypocrite!

    Says the fat, dyed-hair urbanite living in the first world begging the government to make other people pay for his health care while preaching about "justice". Why don't you go back to overhauling your voter system so that rural people no longer have valid votes? Justice!

    If you think I'm mean now, you should have seen me before I was a Christian.

    Woke culture is on the way out, and it's long overdue.

    1. "The Satanic Panic was a lot shadier than the media today would have you believe, and all the debunkers have CIA connections and disturbing personal lives few discuss."

      You might say they don't need flashlights to find their keys at night.

    2. @JD You were actually nicer than the guy deserved. Don't feel bad at all. Also, your taxonomy of the retarded arguments is spot-on.

      @Brian I almost witch-tested the guy before banning him, but my patience for assholes and gammas (often one and the same) is very low. As you'll see on my blog, I like when people disagree. A commenter named Mike and I go back-and-forth on a lot of stuff, and we keep it respectful and I like it because he's a smart guy.

      This James--not to be confused with James from Perfect Manifesto, who is awesome--is most definitely NOT a smart guy.

      Love the Witch Test. It's still batting 1.000!

    3. Glad you find the Witch Test useful, Alex. To God be the glory!

  2. "And you wonder why people hate you and your ilk?"

    Of course we don't wonder. We know:
    "If the world hate you, know ye that it hated Me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, 'The servant is not greater than his lord.' If they have persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept My saying, they will keep yours also. But all these things will they do unto you for My name's sake, because they know not Him that sent Me."

    1. Love it when the witches show up and attempt the shaming process. I half expect that every other word from their mouths will be "racist". Zero imagination.

  3. This discovery of the Witch Test is like discovering a forgotten weapon that still works. I love seeing it work. I love seeing Christians flock to it when it works.

    Deus Vult

    1. And it's only one of many weapons from the Church's buried tradition awaiting rediscovery.

  4. Brian

    I feel guilty not immediately invoking the witch test. I'll screw up the necessary courage and invoke it.

    Credo Crucifixus etiam pro nobis sub Pontio Pilato, passus et sepultus est, et resurrexit tertia die, secundum Scripturas, et ascendit in caelum, sedet ad dexteram Patris.


  5. May not be true, but I have read that the phrase "kiss my ass" originally refers to a Satanic ritual.

    1. There is a medieval document which mentions witch covens kissing black cats' asses.

    2. You sure that's not a post from last week in New England?

  6. The picture accompanying this post is perfect. Sure made me laugh at least.

    Civilization needs more people doing what Brian does with the Witch Test: repeated, detailed, brass tacks instruction on what works and why. I'm going to think of how I can apply this to my own life.

    It feels like there's a gap here because the Boomers and education system failed to teach so many practical things in a clear and demonstrable way.

    1. The Boomer generation is like a dam in two ways:
      1) Their numbers are the only temporal force holding back the Death Cult's victory over the West.
      2) Their worldview, which was frozen ca. 1988, holds back the conceptual changes we need to make to fight the Death Cult effectively.

    2. The sad fact is that we're going to have to start from zero with the post-Boomer generations. There's no way around it.

      This means much conflict in the future. But without the Boomers enabling of the woke crowd they will also fall apart a lot faster.

      Just as no generation younger than Mills care about Star Wars, no generation younger than them have any patience for being told what to do by grown children. They're going to have rougher times ahead than they think.

  7. That was a lot of fun to watch unfold. I concluded initially that he was a troll the moment I read "trump voting Christians like you", but then afterward when he claimed he was a christian (seriously how dumb could you be to think anyone would fall for that) it was clear it was a witch. They are so unimaginative they never change their tactics.

    I'm glad to see more and more bloggers and Christians no longer tolerate these parasites.

    1. He wasn't quite dumb enough to make a false profession, even in jest. I suspect it was a near thing, though.

    2. Respectfully disagree. James began the confession with "that's easy". The rest appeared like copypasta. My guess is that he's repening to either the Lord or his Dark Master now.

      Praise be to Jesus the Christ.