2019/02/13

Star Wars Misandry Adventures

Last night I made a special appearance on Geek Gab to discuss my new mecha mil-SF book Combat Frame XSeed and its impending sequel. During the show, I was asked if I'd seen Star Wars Galaxy of Adventures. I hadn't, because I know that Star Wars' current owners secretly hate me. Doing some cursory research, I discovered that their hatred is no longer secret.

For those who don't know, the concept behind Star Wars Galaxy of Adventures is that they take the original audio from the classic movies and dub it over low-quality animated reimaginings of those scenes. I expected the results to be inept, and those expectations were met. What I didn't expect was the brazen, foaming-at-the-mouth misandry on full display in every frame.

You doubt me? Here's a little comparison between three frames from the original Star Wars and the corresponding frames from Galaxy of Adventures.

In our first scene, Luke, Han, Chewie, and Leia are pinned down by stormtrooper fire in the Death Star cell block. Leia is questioning the wisdom of their plan. She's about to take matters--and Luke's blaster rifle--into her own hands. Note that her expression is frustrated with a touch of concern. But her body language is open, and she's in dialogue with Han. Meanwhile, Luke cautiously peeks out from behind cover.
Leia 1

Here's the corresponding scene from Galaxy of Adventures. This Leia, whom I will refer to as Fake Leia, isn't just frustrated. She's livid with anger. She's also not facing Han, but glowering at Luke's back like she wants to plant a knife there. Note her closed, hunched posture, which makes her look more threatening. Here, Luke fiddles with his rifle in the middle of a firefight like moron.
Fake Leia 1

Back to A New Hope. Leia grabs Luke's gun. Again, she's facing the character she's interacting with. Also, her face conveys determination with a bit of mischief.
Leia 2

In the "updated" version, Fake Leia violently seizes Luke's gun from behind. Her eyebrows are at a severe diagonal, indicating anger. She's looking at the blaster, not at Luke, and her teeth are bared in a scowl. Luke is utterly bewildered.
Fake Leia 2

Here's my visual closing argument. It's the original Tarzan swing scene. Luke hands Leia his gun this time. He capably pays out his grapple line before the throw, and Leia gives him a kiss for good luck.
Leia 3

The Galaxy of Adventures version is the diametric opposite of the original. Luke is portrayed as so incompetent, he's tangled himself up in his own line. Instead of being handed Luke's gun and kissing him, Fake Leia grabs it and smacks him in the face.
Fake Leia 3

The whole video is like this. Fake Leia rages like being rescued is an affront to her dignity and her rescuers are affronts to her existence. At least she doesn't mow them down like a psychopath, which can't be said for the hapless stormtroopers.

It's Star Wars Galaxy of Cluster B Personality Disorders.

The animators know what they're doing. They've vandalized a classic to vent their irrational rage at the men and boys who were Star Wars' core audience.

Disney hates you. Don't give them money.

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19 comments:

  1. A bit of musing on my part as an aspiring writer, and note for other writers and aspiring writers in the audience: You often see this kind of portrayal of 'strong female characters' in fiction these days. A woman surrounded by complete incompetents, who is forced to do everything herself. One would think by it's sheer frequency it's probably the best way to handle female characters. I would argue its probably the worst way, to handle ANY character, period, particularly what are supposed to be heroic characters. This trope only works when every other person is an idiot, and it's especially glaring in circumstances where there shouldn't be any incompetents. In this particular case, Han is competent smuggler, who has the fastest ship in the galaxy, not something generally earned by idiocy. Luke is naive, and inexperienced, and it shows, but still has enough common sense to survive his encounters with the empire. They wouldn't even be on that death star if they were completely incompetent. If you are making all the characters look bad, to make one character look good, that should be an alarm bell you have written a bad character. It make work in certain circumstances, but it won't work in others.

    The funny thing to me is the context I'm most familar with this trope. It's common to Saturday morning cartoons. It's the 'Fine, I'll do it my self' trope used by all the villains in 80s shows, but with a new coat of paint. It's Megatron, it's Skeletor, it's Cobra Commander. This trope wasn't just to show the incompetence of their minions, but weaknesses in the leader themselves for surrounding themselves with idiots, and traitors in the first place.

    So Disney has turned Leia into character who is just as sympathetic as Skeletor. Good job Disney.

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    1. "Disney has turned Leia into character who is just as sympathetic as Skeletor. Good job Disney."

      I never thought of it that way, but since you point it out, that's exactly what they're doing!

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    2. Lies and slander.

      Skeletor has far more charisma and panache in his nonexistent facial muscles than Strong Female Character has at all.

      Myeeeh!

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  2. It looks like some badly drawn Japanese anime thing. I agree it has to be on purpose. No one could that bad at their job unless they meant to.

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    1. The only way to make it worse would be doing it in CalArts style.

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    2. You're right. Corrections cheerfully accepted.

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  3. Euuuuugh. The Holiday Special doesn’t even come close in terms of cringe. Congratulations to Disney for this magnificent achievement

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    1. The Holiday Special was a coke-fueled cash grab. Galaxy of Misandry is anti-male agitprop.

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  4. Another Star Wars installment I'll be passing up. I work with a die hard fan, so I'll have to touch base with him and get his take. Lately, his justifications and handwaving at the more egregious misandry and butchering of the plot have started to look a bit brittle and he's been retreating back into the extended universe books. I am almost reluctant to bring it up because I know how much he loves it and I really don't want to poke the sore spots.

    Brief OT: I finished XSeed last night and I loved it! I left a lengthy review on Amazon that details what few criticisms I had and I am very much looking forward to the next one.

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    1. Well, scratch the review: Amazon kicked it back due to unspecified violations, so now I can't even repost. Sorry. If you like, I'm more than happy to email it if you think it would be of any value. Otherwise, suffice to say I really enjoyed the book and will be getting the sequel.

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    2. "I am almost reluctant to bring it up because I know how much he loves it and I really don't want to poke the sore spots."

      Deprogramming IRL folks who've marinated in Mouse propaganda their whole lives takes patience. It's about dispensing the right red pills at the right times. Instead of leading with one's chin, e.g. "SJW Wars is shoving fourth wave feminist BS down your throat!" You could say, "I was excited when I heard about this, but I'm disappointed with the low quality art. And the blocking is far inferior to Carrie Fisher's classic performance."

      "If you like, I'm more than happy to email it if you think it would be of any value."

      Absolutely. Please send it along. Thanks in advance for your feedback.

      Delete
  5. The most telling moment is after she fires the blaster and the three of them stop and look at her like she is a mental patient.

    It's supposed to be an "lol look at the bad ass woman she's so cool moment" but everyone who isn't indoctrinated into the cult sees it for what it is. This woman is crazy, bitter, and hateful, and not at all the type of person who should be looked at as a hero.

    What's worse is that this is every female Disney has created for Star Wars. Each and every one. They're all miserable know-it-alls with no character traits beyond "blandly competent until the plot says they're not" and yet the trained seals bark and clap for more.

    Pro-tip: If you need to step on every other character to make your preferred one look good then you are a bad writer.

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    1. And your Pro-Tip appears to be the key to entry at Disney and other Hollyweird enterprises.

      Captain Renault levels of "Shocked".

      Imagine that.

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  6. Enjoyed the podcast last night, and I'm ecstatic that someone is going to Build a Mech.

    I'm also exceedingly pleased that the host correctly identified Soul Calibur's Siegfried as the basis.

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    1. Concur, D.J. Excellent GeekGab with the Three Amigos all present and great interview, with rocking chat! Just sorry that I couldn't be there live and had to catch the recording.

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    2. I am overjoyed that last night's Geek Gab--and CFXS as well--are entertaining my readers!

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  7. Hahaha at Star Wars “secretly” hating you. It’s no secret, Brian.

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    1. Not to us, but there are still a lot of blue-pilled fanboys out there.

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