2018/12/28

The Last Jedi and Fake Reviews

Fanboys

We already knew that The Last Jedi was a con. Now proof has surfaced that the reviled Star Wars movie's ridiculously high Rotten Tomatoes critics' score is likewise a sham.

Geeks and Gamers reports on leaked audio from Fanboys director Kyle Newman, who admitted that Rian Johnson's abomination was just as poorly received in Hollywood as everywhere else. Kyle goes on to confirm that film critics felt pressured to give the movie positive reviews on pain of losing their access to future Disney projects. Skip to 2:52 to hear Kyle's audio.


From the transcript:
internally there's all these even journalists that gave it positive reviews or like I do that because I need to maintain my access 
Access journalism is cancer, and critic reviews are fake news.

Prediction: Regardless of its actual merits, when Episode IX comes out, NPCs will hail it as "the best of the sequel trilogy" solely for not being The Last Jedi.

UPDATE: Castalia House Lead Editor Vox Day offers a final word of caution in the comments:
Newman was only offering his opinion. Confirmation has to come from multiple sources.

43 comments:

  1. NPC Buzz Talkers keep squawking or NPCs will stop talking. Can't have that!

    I am Captain Renault-level SHOCKED that even more evidence comes forward of fake reviews due to fear of Cancer Mouse reprisals. Shocked.

    A wise man once said "Don't give money to people who hate you". As Alex can confirm, Hollyweird and Silicon Valley Slumlords have me thoroughly SPOOKED now. I'm investigating how even more of my money can be kept out of their filthy claws.

    Fortunately, there's all this great indie stuff coming out ... burning up all that moolah Globalist Cartel Inc used to get.

    So sad, Cancer Mouse. So sad.

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    1. In fairness, I think Cernovich said it first, but I'm glad you're taking it to heart.

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  2. Man I’d bet my bottom freaking dollar on your Episode IX prediction coming true

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    1. Here's how it'll go down: Abrams will turn in a movie that basically ignores TLJ and has a definite beginning and middle. He still won't have learned how to end a story, so the picture will stop on an arbitrary, probably nebulous, note.

      The rainbow-haired twink crowd will whine about Episode IX being "a step backward for diversity" compared to TLJ even though Abrams will shoehorn in even more POCs and deviants. He'll keep his hatred for white males more covert than Johnson did, but scratch the surface, and you'll find an undercurrent that's just as bad if not worse than TLJ's. NPCs will laud the experience of being insulted more subtly as, "Equal to Return of the Jedi; maybe better since there's no dumb teddy bears this time."

      TL; DR: all the guys who still say they like The Force Awakens will say they really like Episode IX.

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    2. "Equal to Return of the Jedi; maybe better since there's no dumb teddy bears this time."

      They have done this with every movie at release since the Phantom Menace.

      And none of these movies will ever top it because nobody involved wants to make a pulp-inspired science fiction fantasy film; they want to make another Star Wars movie.

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    3. That was the problem with the prequels. Now they want to make anti-normal person agitprop wearing Star Wars' flayed skin.

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    4. And they’ll also declare that the middle path is the true path, the right path, that will bring peace. Because the Pomo, SecHumanists unwittingly helping Satan actually think that Balance between Good and Evil, between Christ and Satan, is the real religion of Peace.

      So no heroes are needed in such a message. And no heroes means it needs no fans, because what is there to cheer for?

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    5. It was lame when your freshman philosophy major emo WEG Star Wars GM did it. It's even lamer now.

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  3. This is going to be an embarrassment that makes the prequel trilogy look like the OT.

    It's apparent to all but brand sycophants that even the Force Awakens wasn't very good. A remake of the original that offers nothing new to the audience except replacing better canon material for post-modern deconstructionist pap. There are nebulous ideas floating around that could have been used for a good story, but weren't, because you were being sold a Star Wars franchise movie, not a pulp science fiction fantasy movie. The movie was made to sucker you, not entertain.

    And now they have to rely on the guy who has never written a good ending in his life (because he doesn't understand storytelling) to end it.

    Even taking TLJ out of the equation, this project was always going to end terribly.

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    1. Also, if you're willing to put something on in the background, I recommend MauLer's new video on the Force Awakens to anyone reading this. He shows the initial reaction to the movie up to post-TLJ and shows exactly how many dropped balls and missed opportunities the movie actually has.

      He does good criticism, and really in depth. So it isn't short.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95mL3us0HSQ

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    2. E;R has hilarious reviews of all the new movies that are also worth checking out.

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    3. "It's apparent to all but brand sycophants that even the Force Awakens wasn't very good."

      My prediction for Episode IX is partly based on recent claims that TLJ was written before TFA. The latter was Abrams' effort to lampshade Johnson's overt SJW-ism.

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    4. Lies, because SJW Rule #1. They just can’t admit that Rian Johnson sucks and that he wrote a movie to deliberately give the finger to the fandom.

      If you are doing a series, one of the main writers needs to be writing for all of the films. Even with Ju Ju Binks being incapable of writing and ending, they should have had him write all three films while maybe permitting different directors. Perhaps it was good the Abrams had Star Drek duties so that’s Rian could go full SJW rather than have Ju Ju’s mild SJW sauce.

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    5. Thing is, SJWs DON'T always double down. They are, in fact, well known for their eyeblink Eurasia-Eastasia switcheroos. Right now, they are pretty sure they've always resented J.K. Rowling for making Dumbledore gay because it wasn't explicitly in the books, showing that they no longer remember their own experience of 2007.

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    6. They'll never reject something on grounds of being bad storytelling, though. Goes straight against their Everything Is Political creed. Our best hope is probably the Chewbacca-roasts-a-porg scene.

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    7. Right, they never reject anything for quality reasons. It doesn't matter that Dumbledore isn't gay from the text and that making him so after the fact is nothing but a desperate cry for attention, but if you said that at the time you were a bigot. Now you are speaking truth to power.

      They don't care about storytelling, and they never have. That's why they love these new Star Wars movies so much.

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    8. Double-think falls under rule #1, I expect. They'll lie to and about themselves as readily as anyone else

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  4. Probably won't see episode 9 either, because tfa wasn't a good enough movie to see twice.

    Too much Marey Sue and incomprehensible Darth Sleeze characterization, not enough nostalgia or good story telling.

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    1. Yep. To quote me quoting Mike, don't give money to people who hate you.

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    2. Speaking of, what platform other than Amazon do you plan to publish through? Sounds like the good ole indie publishing days at amazon are going to dry up and we know Bezos hates us.

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    3. I'm gonna keep making 70% on every book of mine Amazon sells while they take a loss until they kick me off. Barring some kind of government antitrust action, it's probably over after that.

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  5. I'm ignoring everything except the original pre-special-edition movies, Timothy Zhan's EU books, the X-Wing series, and whatever ties in with those.

    Maybe the graphic novels if they're cool.

    The prequels started the demise of Star Wars.

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  6. The Star Wars movie franchise ended in 1983. The Star Wars novel franchise began in 1991 and ended in 1999 (I felt the Yuuzhan Vong series was a different vibe). Everything else has been fumes and facsimiles designed for cash grabs, not for love of the material or the fandom. It’s time for many to accept that they are mourning a corpse.

    All good things come to an end. Say goodbye to Star Wars and go find other worthy universes to explore and support, especially if the creators don’t hate you.

    Frankly, every series needs to decide on an end point where the series continues no farther. Otherwise you get J.J. Abinks failed ending syndrome and the series dies. What saved Tolkien’s series is that 1) there was a definitive end and 2) the only people involved, JRR and Christopher’s tolkien, had a deep love and respect for the material. Had Christopher allowed what Lucas did, we’d be mourning the death of both series. I hope Chris selected a good heir for the Tolkien estate.

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    1. "I felt the Yuuzhan Vong series was a different vibe"

      Back in the day, everybody I knew swore by the NJO. I could always see the cracks in Vector Prime, but Salvatore's execution was good enough to keep me interested. Then the second book was so dissonant compared to the first in terms of tone, theme, and even world building that I could tell which way the wind was blowing and never went back.

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    2. I’m oddly not a Salvatore fan boy. Friend of mine gave me the early books of the Drizzt series he wrote and I think I made it through two books before I put them down and was just done with him. So when I read Vector Prime, Inwas so bored by the premise that I didn’t bother going any further but I would read the reviews of the books. What was posted did not paint a pretty picture. Also, I was curious how if each book was being written by a different author, how consistent would the series be? Even if the editor is the same, it’s not like the authors were constantly having meetings to make sure they were all writing the same beginning-middle-end.

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    3. Streams of Silver and Halfling's Gem honestly made the Decline of Drizzt Quartet look great by comparison. Don't blame you for calling it quits at Streams. (For my part, I just put people onto Homeland and Exile and tell them to ignore the rest except maybe Crystal Shard.)

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    4. I'm probably more of a "fan boy" than you. I liked Salvatore's earlier stuff, but it got kinda stuck in a loop with the D&D stories. Liked the first half of the Drizzt books, not the last half for that reason. I agree on the Yuuzhan Vong stuff. It was okay as it's own thing but increasingly didn't fit Star Wars as it went along.

      "Also, I was curious how if each book was being written by a different author, how consistent would the series be?"

      This can be done if managed correctly, but you need to set rules everyone follows, timeline everyone follows, etc. Battletech's Clan invasion and repulsion series of books did this well, I thought. Characters might cross over a little as cameos, but each author handled their own core group of characters and units in the overall campaigns on an established timeline. Like Book One might handle the clean moral space prince and his heavy mech lancers as they lead start of the invasion of Clan space. Another author doing Book 2 might write darker, but he's following the merc unit that got dropped into volcano hell planet as a diversion to draw units off the main assault the prince is leading. Book 3 is another author following another unit. Book 4 follows a dishonored clan mechwarrior fighting a hopeless last stand defense to regain his honor. Book 5 is the first author and back to the prince mid invasion.

      I don't remember if that's the exact sequence (it's been 15 or so years since I read that series), but it was along those lines and worked well. You get the whole timeline story, see the important stuff in detail, and different authors can play to their independent strengths and styles while still operating in the story universe.

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    5. "This can be done if managed correctly, but you need to set rules everyone follows, timeline everyone follows, etc."

      Yep. See Chris Kennedy's Four Horseman Universe for an indie example.

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  7. This is yet another bit of information to stick into that ever-expanding file marked “Stuff Everybody Knows Is True But Just Didn’t Have Actual Proof Of Until Now.” Disney, Star Wars, and everything involved in the production thereof is satanic cancer.

    Funny. Before I read this post I was speaking with a family friend about how much we both thought TLJ was molten ass. And this family friend was a millennial female, arguably SJW Wars’s target demographic.

    She told me the movie made her get rid of all her Star Wars memorabilia.

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    1. We're gonna need a bigger filing cabinet.

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    2. Star Wars and Star Trek killed in a single generation. Never would have seen it coming back in the early '90s.

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    3. Ca.'91 with Star Wars resurgent and ST:TNG at the height of its powers? Unthinkable.

      Then again, a couple years before that, if you'd told people the Berlin Wall would come down, you'd have been laughed out of the room.

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  8. As D.J. scopes out what will be "canon" Star Wars for him (eat that Postmodernists), you have to ask what Disney was thinking when they gave the middle finger to the Expanded Universe. After all, $4 Billion is a large sack of coin to make back.

    EU had a large following, featured both original movie characters and a host of new (and often diverse) characters, and gave ample room to build movies, animation projects, and toy franchises.

    Disney could have flipped the switch on the money machine and let Star Wars go in a dozen directions, with enough varied content to satisfy just about anyone.

    But they didn't. They said EU was "Wrong Fun" and erased it from "canon" (such bullsh!t to think one can shape this for fans).

    They figured that the audience would pay through the nose regardless of the drek their studios poured out. That the money would roll in, regardless. And, we'll educate the backwards rubes to boot!

    We see what happens when Hatred for Civilization drives your business decisions. How many theaters are slated to follow Toys 'R Us into Economic Oblivion? How's that financing of Star Wars Park-and-Pay playing out for the company?

    Yeah, how's all that working for you, Mickey?

    tl;dr: Never give your money to Cancer Mouse.

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    1. They were thinking, "We hate those unwashed incel fanboys. Let's take away their beloved toys and burn them in a dumpster!"

      The 4 billion was a bargain price to pay for the pleasure of tasting male tears.

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    2. They bought Star Wars purely because it was a male oriented franchise.

      Everything else comes from there.

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    3. What narrow vision if so, or all-encompassing hatred, as I implied. Just making an audience for someone else to steal away. The girls ain't buying swag like the boys.

      It'll take a while, but "au revoir, Cancer Mouse."

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    4. Disney's historically had problems with attracting boys and the male audience. Marvel and Star Wars were supposed to be their foot in the door to that elusive demo.

      Looking at Rey and Captain Marvel it is pretty easy to see how well they understand it.

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    5. On a related note, I drove by the discount warehouse that used to be my local Toys 'R' Us today.

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    6. "Disney's historically had problems with attracting boys and the male audience."

      Two words: Disney Princess.

      Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella were ok -- long established stories, as well as the Little Mermaid (although that appears to have been a typical victim of the homos in animation room, with deliberate inclusion of pornographic images in a children's film).

      All of the rest of the "Disney Princesses" seem like either
      1) The character was shoe-horned in so they can say, "Yay! We have created another Princess --- so parents, you'd better go out and by the merch for your daughters, so they don't beg and whine and scream your ears off!"

      or

      2) The story was invented solely so that they could say, "Yay! We have created another Princess --- so parents, you'd better go out and by the merch for your daughters, so they don't beg and whine and scream your ears off!"

      And the female genitalia castle from Frozen is just .... depravity on steroids. Whoever the pedophilia-obsessed degenerate in the drawing studio came up with that should be burned at the stake, along with whoever approved it rather than immediately firing the cretin.


      Neither of which is -- "Hey, here's a good story."

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  9. Newman was only offering his opinion. Confirmation has to come from multiple sources.

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    1. Corrections gratefully accepted. I've updated the post.

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