Every Man an Island


Study the downward trajectory of Western civilization long enough, and you start to notice certain trends. One dyscivic development that almost certainly affects you but goes largely unremarked upon is the increasing isolation and atomization of men.

The decline in (actually the suppression of--more on that later) male socializing and solidarity is an odd phenomenon, in large part because many opine about the particular effects but never make the connections that would let the whole picture emerge.

Christian feminists wring their hands over plummeting marriage rates while browbeating young men to "man up" and marry girls with scores of sex partners and a half-dozen infanticides in their wake. Tech feminists trumpet dwindling male workforce participation and crow about how "men are over". Feminist academics impose ever more draconian diktats governing relations between the sexes while the archetypal college boy becomes an endangered species on campus.

Men aren't just vanishing from the family, the workplace, and higher education. Fraternal organization memberships are also in steep decline. It's tempting to lay the blame on generation gaps and changes in technology, and there's some truth in those theories. But the real source of the crisis is much more deliberate and insidious.

It's not due to generational differences that the Boy Scouts now admit girls.

An international alliance of protesters mobilized the authorities--including the Australian Navy--to thwart a series of planned meetups organized by PUA guru Roosh V. The stated purpose of these meetups was simply for men who shared common interests to get together for drinks and discussion. In response, they had the military called on them.

White male Star Wars fans--the franchise's core audience--have repeatedly been told by Disney that they are no longer wanted in Star Wars fandom.

Once you notice the pattern, you can't unsee it. Men aren't abandoning traditional male associations and activities. Men are no longer allowed to have exclusively male organizations or participate in all-male activities.

Look for shills to pop up in the comments to glibly dismiss these empirically established trends with rhetorical disqualifications like "conspiracy theory" and "paranoia". To preempt the useful idiots, let's take a trip down memory lane to yesterday's post. The Commie infiltrators in the State Department and Hollywood used the same playbook to demonize the relatively ineffective and now vindicated Joe McCarthy.

The ostracizing and hectoring of men has gotten so bad that the effects are spilling over from Wall Street to Main Street and into our homes. The guy featured in that article about the Kiwanis serves as a decent sample of the typical Gen X, Gen Y, or Millennial male. He struggles to make time for the club, citing conflicting responsibilities at work and at home. Note that he invokes having a single three year-old child as a pressing demand on his time. The guys who swelled the club's ranks in the 50s through the 80s often had two, three, or even five kids and worked grueling factory jobs.

Decades ago, hardworking family men would routinely get together to socialize and pursue common interests. This simple activity now seems like a herculean feat. Why?

Darts Competition
A darts competition in the 1950s with zero women present. Practically unthinkable today.
A major factor is the steadily rising female workforce participation rate. Historically, about one-third of women needed to work at least temporarily to support themselves before marriage or in widowhood. Society could cope with that 30%, but women now outnumber men in the workforce, and this inversion is having a host of unforeseen dyscivic effects.

Let's hit the high notes.
  • Women are increasingly completing college and starting careers before marrying and having children, contributing to the decline in marriage and birth rates.
  • Doubling female workforce participation from 30% to 60% has had the same effect on wages as mass immigration. When the supply of labor goes up, the price of labor goes down. Now many families can't afford to get by on a single income. Mom has to work, so Dad has to sacrifice civic service, hobbies, and friendships to help watch the kids.
  • As noted above in the Scouts example, decades of protests and lawfare have effectively criminalized male-only organizations.
Most commenters who lament this lopsided state of affairs like to wag their fingers at the hypocrisy of women-only outfits like Curves. But they're missing the underlying social dynamic. Men don't have an innate drive to invade traditionally female associations. The reverse is not true of women, because The sexes form and join organizations for different reasons.

Men form associations to advance a common goal and engage in healthy, hierarchy-establishing competition.

Women join associations to advance their own individual status and scout for high-status men who might be relationship material.

Exhibit A: Sarah Hoyt &co. wrapping Sad Puppies around a lamppost the second they were handed the keys.

Taken together in context, these observations tell you everything you need to know about why men are being subtly discouraged and downright actively forbidden from forming civic organizations, families, and even friendships. It is proper to the masculine nature to organize for the purpose of effecting change in the world. If you benefit from the status quo, the last thing you want is a population of denigrated, despised, and outcast men to get together and share ideas.

The powers that be anticipated this snag, too. That's why we've had an endless stream of legislation and corporate policy aimed at coddling women. "Control the coinage and the courts, and let the rabble have the rest" is outdated. Our elites have figured out that letting women have make-work jobs and government subsidized sex candy lets the managerial class control men.

It's important to accept that the cavalry isn't coming. For reasons known only to them, our forefathers who fought in two world wars and built America up from a mostly agrarian backwater to an industrial superpower gave away everything they made in the vain hope of pleasing their women.

Past generations of men got us into this mess. Only we can get ourselves out. A comprehensive plan is beyond the scope of this blog, but here are some general tips to get you started where you are.
  1. Stop putting women on pedestals. Movies, TV, and your parents probably told you to defer to your wives and girlfriends at all times. They lied. Three generations of men have tried the supplication route and succeeded only in causing an epidemic of divorces--70% of which are initiated by women.
  2. Similar to 1: Your wife/GF is not your "life", your "soul mate", or your "best friend". She is a fallen human being whose vocation is to be your helpmeet and the mother of your children.
  3. Neither is she your boss. Women are spiritually and biologically designed to follow men. They may tell you they want to be equal partners in the relationship. This is a test. You fail it, and maker her miserable, if you cave. Start leading.
  4. It is neither normal nor healthy for a man to spend all of his time around women and children. Men need the company of other men for their own self-development and happiness. That Western men have been reduced to atomized consumers relegated to man-caves in the basements and garages of houses they own is by fiendish design. Peel yourself away from your "better half" for a few hours a week to start a club, join a bowling league, or just get together with your male friends.
Follow these steps for a month, and you'll be amazed at how much less of an obsequious pseudoadolescent soyboy you become. Who knows? You might even save Christendom.

While you're at it, cut the cord, ditch Hollywood, and read some stories of ordinary men tackling extraordinary challenges. You'll find a sampling of them in my fun, adventurous, and chilling collection Strange Matter, available now absolutely free.

Strange Matter - Brian Niemeier


  1. A step I would offer is work towards running your own business. With the shrinking labor costs we all are getting paid less, but we can use that to our advantage by taking out the middleman, getting their cut, or by being the middleman and earning those profits for yourself. All the men I know with single income households own their income stream.

    1. A good suggestion, and one I'm taking.

    2. Todd
      That's very helpful. What kind of businesses do you recommend? I tend to incline towards repair/building stuff. For example if I were far more competent in carpentry i'd make long-lasting furniture that'd be heirlooms.
      I really want to take up sewing as the hobby I have really encourages creating items that the commercial companies will never produce but are highly sought after by fellow hobbyists. Some have even created their own businesses.


      I joined Catholic watchmen at my parish. It's a relief to just be with guys for a bit. And it's satisfying to reflect and find ways to improve myself. That's a challenge that's motivating me.

    3. Xavier you can make it happen in any business as long as you properly research the intended market and your business costs. There will be less security every paycheck, but wage slave security has been dwindling year by year anyway. You have to save during the high season, to ensure you can pay bills during the low season, even if making 6 figures over the year. It's a different mindset than a salary worker, but our ancestors lived like this as well. Sorry I haven't given you a straight forward answer, but the possibilities are almost limitless and figuring out how to make it work in your field is part of the process. Fortunately we have folks like Brian Niemeier, Nick Cole, and others sharing their expertise in the book selling market. Look for Brian's and Nick's in your field of interest. And good luck!

    4. Tod,

      Not at all. You've given me the basics; the rest is up to me to figure it out :)

      Thanks very much!

  2. Alienation by design. Walking out in public and seeing so many people who won't even look each other in the eyes is disturbing. This is not going to lead anywhere good.

    Great piece. Words to meditate on.

    1. Thanks.

      Brief anecdote. My new neighbor came over and introduced himself today. Even shook my hand. It was as surprising as it was refreshing. There are some hopeful signs.

  3. Hebrews 10:25. Not just for Church anymore!

  4. And here I thought Hoyt was one of the right's darlings. Guess not.

    Her book about daddy issues in space wasn't good enough to read the second.

    Women need their own spaces too, or these couples things all end up being the women acting like they're babysitting their husbands. Demoralizing for everyone.

    1. "Women need their own spaces too..."

      They already have plenty, but their natural drive is to invade and co-opt male organizations unless unequivocally excluded.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. I remember reading Hoyt’s short story at the end of Forbidden Thoughts anthology. Everything before it was a story that contained ideas that would cause an SJW and cuckservatives alike to lose it. Her story was a pro-multiculturalism, pro-miscegenation, magic minority piece with a pro-life veneer tossed in to try and fit the theme. It was weak, it fell flat, and it hurt the anthology by being the last piece.

      And then there was the back and forth between her and Vox Day where she basically advocated Magic Dirt theory of ethnic identity. The two together made me think she was not really of the Right, more like a gloamer on using this niche growing market for personal gain. Not surprised to read how she killed SPV, but then again, I had joined up with RP when it was started as it was the only puppy that had teeth.

    4. Frankly, I don't have a personal or a professional horse in this race. I've never met Sarah or read her books. I just know what's a matter of public record.