2018/08/22

Tumblr: The Anime

Tumblr Anime

If you're an up-and-coming indie author who's a Millennial, a member of Generation Y, or even a Gen Xer, your dream scenario for publishing success probably includes getting your IP optioned as an anime series. For years the common refrain anytime an American voiced such hopes was, "Anime studios don't work with Americans."

Still, many forged ahead undaunted, striving to break the culture barrier and be among the first to get a TV deal in Japan. Well, in this Year of Our Lord 2018, the barrier is coming down. Unfortunately, it's not honest indies dedicated to producing content audiences want who are getting their visions turned into anime series. It's SocJus propagandists like the Tumblrinas in the header image.
Otter Media’s Ellation is launching Ellation Studios, a new division devoted to original content.
Margaret Dean has been named head of studio for the new division, which will create content for Ellation’s Crunchyroll and VRV brands. Dean previously had been general manager of Stoopid Buddy Studios and is president of Women in Animation.
You don't say.
The first item on Ellation Studios’ slate is High Guardian Spice, an anime-inspired series under the new Crunchyroll Originals banner.
“Crunchyroll Originals aims to elevate animation as a medium for storytelling, as most animated series in western culture is geared towards kids or comedy," said Kun Gao, founder and general manager of Crunchyroll. "Our fans grew up watching anime, and today anime inspires creators from around the world and influences so much of broader pop culture. We look to tell distinct, impactful stories best executed in the medium of animation from a global creative community who is inspired by anime. With this in mind, we are excited to introduce more shows and announce the rest of our slate in the coming weeks.”
But a picture speaks a thousand words. Let's take a look at this "impactful" series that "elevates animation as a medium".

High Guardian Spice

Aaaand it's CalArts in Diversitopia. Admit it. This is exactly what you imagined when you got a glimpse of the series' creators above.

What you're not imagining is fun, which I note Crunchyroll and Ellation's press releases make no mention of. Word to the wise: "Making an impact" and "elevating the material" are SJW ritual cant for "pushing hamfisted agitprop." Watch the preview video if you haven't eaten in the last hour.


To spare you the long-term retinal damage that comes from staring at this eclipse of a once-beloved art form, let me summarize the video:
Everybody grew up watching anime...Blah blah blah...mah diversitah...Blah blah..."women" creators...Blah.
Let's cut through the bullshit. Neither Crunchyroll nor Ellation expect normal people to watch this abomination. The whole point of this multimillion dollar production is to humiliate and demoralize the normal people these freaks hate.

Yet another reason why we need #AGundam4Us.

Update: The Tumblr self-insert fanfic made canon marches on in the latest news from the slow-motion blimp crash that is the new She-Ra.

She-Ra D&D

Pray that we've reached peak Clown World. There aren't enough Asuka body pillows and opioids to cope with further degeneration.

Reminder: Every dollar spent backing author Bradford Walker's Star Knight Saga is a dollar forever deducted from Ellation's problem glasses budget.

58 comments:

  1. It's just another Steven Universe with the same crap designs and hackneyed plots. More pseudo-anime.

    My favorite part in the trailer was when they mentioned diversity thirteen times before unironically transitioning into their 100% female writing room. These people can't even be parodied anymore.

    Crunchyroll also wasting money on this instead of fixing their terrible site really shows where their priorities lay. It's not their customers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The sheer audacity to claim 'We look to tell distinct, impactful stories best executed in the medium of animation from a global creative community who is inspired by anime' and then present beige, rainbow hair, bean mouthed blobs of marzipan Cal Arts style.

      Granted it's par for the course with these people.

      Delete
    2. I'm convinced there's no one other than these people left in the western animation industry.

      Until they and their influence is cleansed we will never get another decent western animated series again.

      Delete
    3. SJW convergence and having nice things are mutually exclusive.

      Delete
  2. And the race is on to see which indie author makes a couple million dollars first, and commission their own anime is on.

    If Jayden smith can get Japan to make Neoyokio, I'm sure we can manage something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As for the She-Ra thing. Don't get me started on dreamworks did to Voltron.

      Go-Lion wasn't even that good if you are being honest (Dai Rugger on the other hand was, but thats another discussion), and they still managed to ruin it.

      Delete
    2. The first couple of seasons of Voltron on Netflix were pretty good. Then the princess got a lion, and it was over. Every. Single. Plotline from then on revolved around her, and all other characters ceased to be characters and instead were only viewed as "how does XX relate to the princess?"

      At some point, there were no strong, male characters anymore. In a mech anime!

      Delete
    3. Indie writers and artists just have to break through to show Japan that the better material worth their time is not coming from the major publishers and studios.

      This faux-anime crap is liked by no one except the same purple-haired land-whales.

      Delete
    4. "And the race is on to see which indie author makes a couple million dollars first"

      If I were a betting man, I'd put a few chips on Anspach & Cole or EVS. Galaxy's Edge has already drawn interest from major players, though the details are still hush-hush. Meanwhile, #ComicsGate has collectively raised $1.5 million, a third of which was crowdfunded by Ethan.

      Delete
    5. "This faux-anime crap is liked by no one except the same purple-haired land-whales."

      Therein lies our best hope. Japan is highly resistant to SocJus. They expect results. When it becomes clear that the purse puppy vanity projects don't sell, Japan will look for content creators with demonstrable track records as earners.

      Delete
  3. More evidence of the decline of western civilization: The older lady is the only one who looks normal. She's not a smug landwhale and her glasses are sized right for her face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pop the corn for another imminent BoomerLib purge. It never gets old seeing their cries of, "B-but I'm totally hip to diversity. I marched for civil rights at Berkeley!" fall on the deaf ears of the rainbow golems they created.

      Delete
  4. Argh... it hurts to watch them waste all that money... why couldn't they just burn it, instead...?

    ReplyDelete
  5. This stuff is common in Western distributors. Viz media imprint Haikasoru, which touts itself as publishing "the best in Japanese science fiction, fantasy and horror," managed to find time to also publish Catherynne Valente. (Haikasoru is also an object lesson in how not to market Japanese genre fiction to Western anime fans.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "'the best in Japanese science fiction, fantasy and horror,' managed to find time to also publish Catherynne Valente."

      And you've brought the post full circle. This is, in several senses of the term, A Bridge Too Far--Caine and Hackman in the same movie.

      Delete
  6. These companies are committing seppuku--so be it. Help them out by denying them your money.

    Burn it all down, salt the earth, start building the replacement, and police it from SJW entry.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I only have so much time in a day. Looks like I'm going to have to learn how to draw, animate, and merchandise too at this rate if I want adaptations done properly.

    Or somehow get an influential Japanese player to love me. ("He's a put-upon culture warrior from a foreign land, she's a rising pop idol looking for a purpose, THEY FIGHT HERESY!")

    Some days it's dangerous to be two blocks from the liquor store.

    We're going to have to do the saving ourselves, aren't we? Lord, give me strength.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yep. Not only do we have to worry about taking back SF, making new comic book companies, etc. We have to reclaim music, animation, film, TV series, make our own videogame studio the whole nine yards.

      That is if they don't shut down the payment processors for all of these.

      Delete
    2. "Some days it's dangerous to be two blocks from the liquor store."

      It's always dangerous living two blocks from the liquor store. Our generation was force-bused there. So be it. We built these industries once. We can rebuild them now.

      "That is if they don't shut down the payment processors for all of these."

      Hence the two-pronged approach:
      -Don't give money to people who hate you. That's our end.
      -Bust the trusts. That's the GE's end.

      Delete
    3. "We're going to have to do the saving ourselves, aren't we? Lord, give me strength."

      The ultimate in job security!

      Delete
    4. "He's a put-upon culture warrior from a foreign land, she's a rising pop idol looking for a purpose, THEY FIGHT HERESY!"

      I'd watch it!

      Delete
    5. We are going to have to rebuild all of it.

      Delete
    6. "We're going to have to do the saving ourselves, aren't we?"

      And that, right there, is part of the secret to Capitalism: to best succeed, you/we must do it all **oursevles.** And it's not going to be easy -- hell, it's not even going to be outrageously difficult.

      It's going to be balls-to-the-wall, darkening-of-the-soul horrendously difficult to (re)start an entire industry from the ground-up.

      Delete
    7. *nods*

      In my experience, take how hard you think running a successful creative business will be, and multiply by ten. That should get you 1/3 of the way toward understanding the actual difficulty level of just getting started.

      Yet we have no choice but to roll up our sleeves and put in the work because prior generations squandered the whole patrimony of Western civilization. And some people wonder why there's such widespread contempt for Boomers.

      Delete
  8. Brian,

    Wow. So Land Whale, Blue hair Apomestatism and Wrinkly Crone are charged with cratering Western style animé and making it as appetizing as cod liver oil.Awesome.
    Now I know what to ignore.
    Looks like we'll be crowdsourcing along with fork and replace for the next 50 years.challenge accepted.

    Bradford,

    As someone who simply can't draw a straight line with a ruler, it might be fun to sponsor an Anime illustrators got talent. We need to encourage as much talent as possible and make ourselves anti fragile.
    xavier

    xavier

    ReplyDelete
  9. They just disabled ratings on the trailer.

    What a garbage fire of a company.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then its time to stoke the fire.

      Delete
    2. Because it was getting ratio'd like crazy. My guess is that most Crunchyroll viewers aren't interested.

      Delete
    3. "My guess is that most Crunchyroll viewers aren't interested."

      Then there's hope.

      Delete
    4. They’ve provocatively pissed all over their intended audience. That’s likely why.

      What other country/culture goes out of its way to deliberately alienate and antagonize the one group (mostly male, mostly white Americans) that comprises its core audience?

      I know women and other ethnic/racial groups also like anime, but America is 77% white and around 50% male. I am not saying that anime and other entertainment products have to specifically only appeal to white male Americans, but for God’s sake, why deliberately insult and turn off this group, THE LARGEST PART OF YOUR POTENTIAL AUDIENCE?

      Delete
    5. They don't understand that a big part of anime's success IS he traditional roles of the sexes. Shonen directly appeals to boy fantasies of being tough, cool, and manly, while Shojo is about the importance of beauty, romance, and femininity.

      These landwhales just shove their warped worldview into a "magical girl" series and completely miss the point entirely.

      "Look, girls can fight, too!" they say while completely ignoring the reasons they are fighting in the first place. If you can get through the sheer girliness of a real magical girl show you will see that the reasons they fight has nothing at all to do with outshining boys. It's about the importance of femininity and becoming a proper woman.

      That's why Steven Universe and these Tumblr hipster attempts at fanfiction are so terrible. They hate the traditional values anime highlights and want to subvert them. They think this is on par with real magical girl shows. They really believe this.

      But what do you expect from people who think yuri and yaoi are about "LGBT representation" instead of about fetishes for moe and fujoshi weebs. Missing the point is their thing.

      And they'll be working overtime to infect Japan with their disease. This is why getting those classics translated now should be a priority to translators. They will be converged and wiped away eventually to be replaced with this. That's the end goal.

      Delete
    6. Wait, you’re telling me they’re entering into a field they know nothing about and trying to subvert it to assuaged their own fragile psyches? What next, that they’ll double down on this foolishness when the whole thing tanks? Poppycock!

      Delete
  10. If someone told me this was a parody I'd believe it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Just the name alone makes me what to puke. Crunchyroll? Is that some sick name for when one of those womyn gets food crumbs stuck in the skin of one of their ham hock arms?

    Anyway, it looks like Steven Universe. So it’s degenerate trash to only be watched by losers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Durandel,

      Never heard of this show so I went to wikipedia.
      Wow....wow.....just... I dunno what to say.

      Other than this show will never be screened in the country I currently reside due to the censorship laws.
      And it's in calart style that Cartoon Network is notorious for. I really really loathe calart cartoons. Qhat a way to steal kids innocence and sour them on the good, true and beautiful.
      Boy makes my job as dad so much harder.

      xavier

      Delete
  12. I need a barf bag. Holy shit. Anyone got one of those MiB pen devices that scrubs your memory? Loved the slow motion blimp commentary though.

    *builds a castle of awesome books out of Galaxy's Edge and the Soul Cycle series*

    Ill have Dune and Warhammer 40k man the barricades. Along with DnA's run on Gotg.

    Fiannawolf

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "*builds a castle of awesome books out of Galaxy's Edge and the Soul Cycle series*

      "Ill have Dune and Warhammer 40k man the barricades."

      Our tastes align, I see.

      NB: Wait till you see XSeed.

      Delete
  13. I’d sooner lodge a pinecone up my ass than waste time, much less money, on this hamfisted, artistically bereft, creatively bankrupt calarts schlock abomination they have the gall to call anime, much less on a service which perpetually lies about sending money to support the struggling japanese anime industry (they don’t) and hardly functions half the time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the bright side when me and my friend create our own hybrid game / animation production studio we’ll have plenty of legroom if the current industry keeps its course

      Delete
    2. Harrison,
      What kind of anime would you produce?
      xavier

      Delete
    3. The coy answer would be “good” anime. But the general answer is any story we’re interested in telling. We have some mecha and magical girl shows lined up for example

      Delete
    4. The overriding priority which we agree on is to tell awesome stories first and foremost

      Delete
    5. Harrison,

      No argument from me about telling awesome stories. I'd like mecha stories where men are brave and courteous;women are beautiful and smart. Epic battles and hommage to families
      xavier

      Delete
    6. I’d like to think that’s what we’re all aiming for. However, keep in mind there’s such a thing as overcompensating. If you don’t present traditional values “as is” and instead hamhand it you end up with a Vox Day, who is about as subtle as a brick to the forehead. The strength and the wholesome appeal of the story hopefully stands on its own. I can hardly contain my excitement

      Delete
    7. My question is how do I police hiring to bar SJWs from infiltrating?

      Delete
    8. Harrison:

      Vox Day's books on the SJW's is a start. Then be vigilant in interviews or pitches: the moment you hear keywords: diversity, empower/empowerment; giving voices to margainalized groups etc. Refuse to hire them; reject their pitch/work as not aligned with your vision and storytelling. ignore them if they snivel and own them when they persist.

      Appearance is another tell tale sign. If women are landwhales, have vivid hair colur that mimics aposematism and are excessively tattooed don't hire them (the Trigglypuff visuals)

      For men, if they act childishly (the Will Wheaton test), give off soyboy vibes (Obama's healthcare Pyjama boy test), and creep you out when they're around women and kids (the James Gunn character assessment test); don't hire them either

      It's a judgement call but trust your experience as well as how others you trust in the company react to a person's behaviour.

      xavier

      Delete
    9. Got a name for this book? Sounds like required reading for anyone looking to go into the creative business

      Delete
    10. An apt name. Inquisitor Niemeier, what loaded questions would YOU ask to a prospective animator or artist hire to keep out SJW filth from infiltrating your organization?

      Delete
    11. I don't have an organization, and I'm not a labor lawyer, so I respectfully decline to dispense advice on the matter.

      Delete
  14. I looked at the top picture and died of cancer.

    ReplyDelete