A) the six million reader fan base that's required to financially justify turning SFF books into movies and
B) a film industry that doesn't actively hate its own audience.
Still, a man can dream. And as long as we're indulging in idle speculation, I present to you the fantasy cast list that I would assemble if authors had any influence on casting decisions. And if I had a time machine.
Some of these choices will probably surprise you.
Teg Cross: Jesse James-era Brad Pitt
Sterling track record of playing gunslingers/hitmen/professional thieves: check.
Can totally rock scruffy facial hair: check.
What need have we of further evidence? Mr. Pitt is the full package.
Elena Braun: Phenomena-era Jennifer Connelly
Connelly, with her ability to project maturity beyond her years and an affinity for keeping her cool in the face of extreme weirdness, would be ideally cast as the souldancer of the ether.
Marshal Malachi: Godfather: Part III-era Andy Garcia
Garcia have the look down cold, his penchant for playing Machiavellian menaces is well established.
Jaren Peregrine: Lost Boys-era Jason Patric
Patric gets the gig because he facially resembles my image of Jaren and because I really like The Lost Boys.
Those two factors might have something to do with each other...
Nakvin: Ray of Light-era Madonna
Madonna has both.
Deim Cursorunda: Twin Peaks-era Billy Zane
Billy Zane for Nakvin's apprentice steersman/ticking time bomb Deim for pretty much the same reasons I cast Patric as Jaren. Besides, Nethereal will give him the comeuppance he richly earned in Titanic.
He'll also work shirtless, if it's tasteful. Very important here.
Fallon: Dream of the Blue Turtles-era Sting
Sting wins out over you.) There's also an appealing symmetry in having two singers-turned-actors in the cast.
Okay, casting MacLachlin and Zane would still give us symmetry in the form of two actors who've worked on the same prior project, but I'm saving that for...
Vaun Mordechai: Edward Norton-whenever
Norton completes the Fight Club matching set!
There you have it: a cast that, even if we pitched this project in the early 90s when they theoretically could have been assembled, would render a Nethereal movie impossible to make!
Take away the time machineLimited to current casting choices, my Nethereal cast would look like this:
- Jaren Peregrine: Bradley Cooper
- Marshal Malachi: Lee Pace
- Elena Braun: Karen Gillan
- Teg Cross: Chris Pratt
- Nakvin: Zoe Saldana
- Fallon: Vin Diesel
Hold on. I think that already exists.
UPDATE: How could I have forgotten?
Sulaiman Iason: Johnny Mnemonic-era Dolph Lundgren
Dr. Lundgren will forgive my gross oversight.
If you've got your own casting picks, please share them in the comments. If you have no idea who the characters we're casting are, read my category best selling SFF novel Nethereal and its Dragon Award-winning sequel Souldancer.